Today was a pretty odd day. My anxiety level was high throughout the day and I don't really know why. I was feeling very sluggish and somewhat depressed and I felt as though my anxiety could have escalated to a panic attack at any time but, on the bright side, I did not panic. I believe this change in mood might be related to the dosage increase of the Zoloft. There is always a noticeable change when you first start taking medication and when you increase the dose because your body needs time to adjust. I'm willing to tough it out and try to get more rest and we'll see how it goes over the next 2 weeks.
Tomorrow I'll have a good opportunity to practice dealing with my anxiety because I'll be attending a team meeting at work. The last time I attended a team meeting I was sweating buckets and could not wait for the thing to end. I would rate my anxiety during the last meeting at about a 9 at its worst. I find these meetings difficult because I can't escape the thought that if co-workers see me very anxious they'll use it against me or talk about me behind my back. I believe it's the competitive nature of work that makes me feel this way because it's different when I'm with family. I feel that my family members are more understanding and won't use my struggles against me.
It's one thing to talk about what I think could go wrong, it's another thing to experience it at the moment. The fact of the matter is that I'm not a fortune teller and I don't know for sure what will happen but I can only prepare for the worst. I plan on getting a lot of rest today, maintain a certain level of clarity tomorrow during the day by either meditating or doing some yoga, and remembering that I have already experienced the worst of my anxiety and I already know that my anxiety will NEVER go past a 10. I'll prepare for a 10 and I'll let you know how things go tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment