Today I was having a hard time staying awake, once again, during the 45 minute body scan meditation. I found myself drifting into sleep and waking up to pick up the body scan half way through. I feel I'm being pretty hard on myself for allowing me to not concentrate and this is adding stress to a stress reduction exercise. I plan on bringing this up in my next MBSR session this Thursday and hopefully I can come up with ways of staying awake during the meditation.
I do feel that I am getting some benefit from this meditation so far. I feel that I have a little bit more energy throughout the day and I also find that I am not so short-fused with my family as much. I am also noticing my physiological responses to panic and anxiety a lot more. I thought noticing these feelings would be a bad thing but it's not so because I am able to acknowledge the feelings a lot earlier and control them as opposed to acknowledging the feeling well into a panic attack when they already have the best of me.
I feel did a lot better with my 10 minute breathing meditation than how I did yesterday. I was able to acknowledge thoughts and let them escape quickly as opposed to dwelling on them for a long period of time. One thing that I noticed was that I grew restless towards the end of my meditation and I opened my eyes about 1 minute before the 10 minute alarm went off. This is something that I will need to control better tomorrow and I need to allow myself to stay in the moment and not worry about anticipating the 10 minute alarm.
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