June 09, 2009

Started Taking Medication

Well, it's been a while since I posted so I wanted to let you know about my progress. Overall I would say that I have been doing well. My anxiety symptoms are not quite as strong as they used to be and I would say that when I do get very anxious I don't go past an 8 on my anxiety scale. I am feeling a bit more comfortable in social situations but it still has been a struggle.

I did fall off the wagon a couple of times over the past 2 weeks. I wound up calling in sick 4 days over the past 2 weeks and I would say that perhaps 2 of those days I could have pushed myself a little harder and not been so susceptible to avoidance. There were some seating arrangements at work that brought new people to the area where I sit and the social interaction was a bit too much at times, interacting with these new individuals caused my anxiety to peak at about an 8 which is still pretty uncomfortable. The good thing is that I was able to ride out the anxiety and I stayed in the situation and tried very hard to control my distorted thoughts and the anxiety did start to go away.

At the beginning of June I had an appointment with a new psychiatrist at the Humber River Regional Hospital at Keele and she was great. I haven't seen a psychiatrist in quite a while just family physicians who said they "specialized" in treating mood disorders only to realize that they had no idea what they were doing. It was nice to sit down and talk with a doctor who really listened to me and who was able to address some other medical issues that have been on my mind. She recommended that I take Zoloft to help me with the anxiety and to make it easier for me to apply the techniques I learned with Stephanie at Clear Path.

I have been on 25 mg of Zoloft for about a week now. Some of the side effects that I've noticed where nausea, drowsiness and increased sweating but they have been gradually tapering off. Zoloft has been by far the best medication that I've taken for panic and anxiety. I feel that it specifically targets anxiety and not depression and I feel that when I am in social situations the physical symptoms aren't as bad as the thoughts, which is great because I always found my thoughts easier to control than the physical sensations of panic. This allows me to ride out an anxious episode in less time and helps me gain confidence.

The one thing that really upsets me is that sometimes I don't feel like I have a good support system at home to give me that push to step out of my comfort zone when I'm really struggling. I know that the effort will always have to come from within me but it is nice to have someone there to help you along the way. I really found that the therapy with Stephanie was helping but I can't afford it right now. My wife's work hours have been cut back and my benefits only cover 20% of the cost of therapy and I would need to wait until next year to increase the coverage.

I find it astonishing that OHIP doesn't cover the cost of CBT offered by psychologists. I would prefer to go to people who know what they're doing rather than having to deal with family physicians who, for the most part, have no idea how to deal with patients with mood disorders. I know that the health system is pretty strained but think about the money that would be saved if people were given a proper diagnosis early and started therapy with someone who knows what they're doing. I really wish I had the ability to carry out proper research on this because I know from personal experience that the system that is currently in place is inefficient in so many ways.

No comments: