Bible Passage - The Fiery Ordeal.

I came across this passage in the Bible today that really spoke to me. This passage offers a new perspective on my condition and strengthens my faith as a Catholic. The passage is as follows:

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which comes upon you to prove you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice in so far as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. -- 1 Peter 4: 12-13

I have mentioned in the past that the physical sensations that I struggle with the most during a panic attack are: feeling hot, feeling like I'm blushing and sweating profusely. The best way to describe a panic attack as I experience it is like a fiery ordeal. A panic attack comes on pretty rapidly for the most part and this can be quite surprising. Also, when I have a full blown panic attack I feel as though something very strange is happening to me because everything seems unreal, almost as if though I were in a dream. It's almost as though Peter is speaking directly to those suffering from anxiety and panic attacks.

This ordeal has allowed me to truly find myself and realize what I have, what I can offer and what I'm capable of doing. It feels as though I have been proven as a human being capable of loving God, myself and others and being worthy of receiving love in return. My confidence keeps increasing day by day and I have great faith that I'll make a full recovery.

The passage also suggests that those who suffer, even those who suffer from mental illness, are sharing in Christ's suffering and one day we will rejoice when his glory is revealed. I feel that that the glory is being revealed to me bit by bit. I find it glorious being able to enjoy ice cream with my kids at the mall without having any anxiety at all. I find it glorious being closer to my wife. I also find it glorious having more energy and courage to do the things I have to do for myself and my family. It is also glorious being able to develop inner peace and be fully present in every moment whether good or bad.

I am very happy to be getting reacquainted with my Catholic faith and I'm very thankful that God is providing me with guidance and strength during this fiery ordeal.